On Repetition

When short term memory is lost or in a process of decline, it is easy to fall into patterns on repetition. For a person with Alzheimer’s disease, it is very common. It can be frustrating for a caregiver when questions, statements, and behavior fall into repetition. A personal take on this problem by Bob Demarco really puts the issue into perspective. Many caregivers face this issue. Learning how to better tolerate and deal with this behavior in turn helps to improve upon it. The most effective and perhaps simple change that can help the situation is by keeping the answers to these questions simple. Keep it positive/neutral, don’t remind a loved one that you have already told them, just answer. This helps control your frustration, and helps them to feel their question has been answered. Attentions are not drawn to their memory problems.

You know what I learned? I learned this is really easy to do. And, I learned you don't get bent out of shape in Alzheimer's World when you keep it simple. I learned something else. Once you finally accept that this is the way it is going to be, you might find yourself laughing or chuckling when the questionskeep on coming. You fully expect what is going to happen -- in advance. You figured this out in real world -- by the way.

After a couple of years I thought to myself. It must be really disconcerting when you don't know what day, month, or year it is. I mean, how do you think you would feel if you never knew what day it was, or whether it was winter, spring, summer, or fall? You would probably feel nutty and disconcerted much of the time.

So I found myself thinking -- this must be really disconcerting to my mother. I continued to think about it more and more. I started thinking maybe this is one of the reasons my mother gets mean or starts acting crazy. If she doesn't know what day it is that must really be disconcerting and then think about all the other things she no longer knows or remembers -- it has to be unsettling to her. Yeah, I think so.

So I added another behavior to my arsenal of communication tools that I use in Alzheimer's World. If my mother starts asking me a question over and over I think to myself, she must really want to know, or need to know. Maybe not knowing is disturbing to her.

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